TRAVEL | Why I Decided To Ditch My Tent and Book The Bucket List Holiday of a Lifetime
We all make plans, set ourselves goals and have places we want to see and things we want to do some day. I’m one of life’s butterflies, flitting happily from one thing to another, endlessly fascinated and enthralled and eager to see, do and experience as much as I possibly can.
Whilst this makes for an interesting life, it can make planning quite a challenge.
For everything that I decide to do, there’s a list as long as my arm of other things I also want to do. This can sometimes lead to inertia as I struggle to evaluate and prioritise endless alternatives. Then, once a decision is made, I tend to get a nagging sense of doubt as I wonder whether I made the right decision.
In simple terms though, really it’s more akin to chronic FOMO (fear of missing out)
In economics this is known as opportunity cost and in behavioural psychology, if it’s not already, it should be termed opportunity cost anxiety. In simple terms though, really it’s more akin to chronic FOMO (fear of missing out), as I worry I’ll miss out on an alternative that could turn out to be even more rewarding.
If this sounds familiar to you, check out the brilliant book The Paradox of Choice which explores this and similar themes.
Sitting on the beach in the Maldives back in 2009. Hard life eh?
If not now, then when?
As well as wanting to DO EVERYTHING in life, I’m no longer able to ignore the fact that I’m now over 40 and feel quite frankly, like time is starting to run out.
I don’t wish to sound dramatic (though I am prone to hyperbole), but that pervasive feeling has become more insistent over the last couple of years; and whilst I haven’t exactly gone into meltdown, I do feel like I’m up on the peak.
I’ve worked hard and I’ve overcome half a lifetime of set-backs to make it up here, and now I’m here, I feel like there’s only so long I can spend admiring the view before I have to begin the inexorable decent down; an obvious metaphor with less than cheery connotations.
As well as making me feel slightly maudlin, the whole middle-aged thing has also made me appreciate just how far I’ve come, providing me with a degree of introspection that has lead me to realise that there’s still a whole heap of things I’ve always wanted to see and do, but simply haven’t got round to doing yet.
Deciding where to go
Every few years we have a ‘big’ holiday. A couple of years ago that meant returning to Whistler in Canada where we go snowboarding every few years. Buoyed by the urgent sense of mortality that only middle-age can inspire, I started to think a bit bigger and decided “If not now, then when?”
Buoyed by the urgent sense of mortality that only middle-age can inspire, I started to think a bit bigger…
With a budget inflated to accommodate more far-flung locations, there were 4 destinations that immediately made the shortlist.
Zanzibar, Costa Rica, Borneo and the Maldives.
I spent several weeks signing up for deals, researching the areas, looking at the kind of travel options and so on. I ruled some out based on price alone, others based on only having a very limited number of days leave I can use for the trip, and others based on the lack of suitable accommodation options, as we typically dislike large impersonal all-inclusive style hotels that tend to be so prevalent with affordable package deals.
Cute little hermit crab on the beach in the Maldives
Shortlisting down to the final location
The list of 4 was quickly whittled down to the Maldives. Between my day job and running this blog, it’s meant that for the last year I’ve been working at least 70 hours a week, and it’s got to the point where I am well and truly burnt out. As with our short break to Morocco earlier this year, I just couldn’t be bothered to faff around making my own travel arrangements, and saw no price benefit from booking independently, so went with a package deal.
I then started researching individual islands. My number 1 reason for wanting to visit the Maldives is, as you might expect for the diving (I’ve been before, and it’s simply incredible), but more specifically to see/swim with Manta Rays. So when I found a hotel within our budget (sort of), and found out they had a Manta Ray cleaning station on their house reef I couldn’t quite believe my luck.
I did end up having to compromise on the length of the holiday (just 7 days), but I upgraded to a beach front villa and sea plane transfers. It all came in over budget, by about 20%.
I checked my finances and figured out I could just about manage it so made the decision to book. As I looked at the total cost on the screen, I must admit to feeling a little queasy, while my finger hovered on the mouse as I triple checked the dates and passenger information I’d entered. Then I booked it.
Swimming with Manta Rays in the Maldives…What?!!
Swimming with Manta Rays is something that I’ve wanted to do for as long as I can remember and immediately after booking I must admit to feeling a bit chocked up. That’s another thing about hitting 40, I seem to be emo as hell and have all the feels. The correct emoji to illustrate my post-booking feeling would be ? or perhaps ?.
Although the trip is months away yet, I’ve felt a certain sense of calm satisfaction since making the booking, punctuated by mild nausea each time I remember the enormous outstanding balance still left to pay.
I think I’d better start looking for a good 0% interest credit card deal.
From open water swimming, snowboarding and kayaking to hill walks and meditation, Shell shares her travels and microadventures here on the blog and in various publications she's written for, Shell has a particular interest in promoting wellbeing and the many benefits of nature therapy.
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I have the EXACT same ‘thing’; FOMO or opportunity cost
anxiety, as you call it. I feel it every day. It kind of runs my life. I feel
there is so much to see and do, it makes me panic. For example, there’s a festival
we love to go to called Boomtown which takes place every year down in
Winchester. It’s hug! We haven’t been for a couple of years but plan to go next
year. The weird thing is, I get anxiety just thinking about going, let alone
when I was actually there! There is so much to see and do that I worry I will
miss something. When I watch wildlife programmes about places that people don’t
tend to travel too, I get very emotional over knowing I probably won’t get to
go there in my lifetime.
The difference between you and me, though, is that you are a go-getter. You
work 70 hours a week which shows you have SO much drive. I just spend too much
time worrying about what I haven’t done rather than doing it!
You go girl! Enjoy your awesome trip when it comes around
Jenni x
The Thrifty
Magpies Nest
Again, sorry for the delayed response due to being away.
hahaha yay, I must admit that I’m glad it’s not just me then!
I know what you mean about feeling emotional when you watch wildlife programmes; I’ve had to accept that there are SO many things that I want to see and do, that in one lifetime, it’s just not possible without a lottery win and constant traveling and whilst I live in hope, I do sometimes get sad at having to accept the fact that I will never see the beauty of Patagonia for example. BUT there are plenty of awesome things we can do and see in our short time on this giant rock 😀
That’s pretty exciting! Is there any reason you wanted to swim manta rays in particular? I mean, they are definitely amazing looking creatures – just wondering if you have any deeper interest?
Sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been away for a few days. No real reason, other than I’ve always thought them to be magnificent creatures 🙂
Great post and lots of things resonated with me:
My old man lived in the Maldives for a year when we were kids (one island was once an RAF station – no families allowed though – pah) and I’ve never been but have always wanted to visit.
– I love Manta Rays. Swimming with them must be amazing.
– that FOMO meets YOLO thing. “I’m now over 40 and feel quite frankly, like time is starting to run out” .. wait till you hit 50 😉
Have a great trip when it arrives 🙂
How lovely of you to say, thanks Mark. Wow he lived there for a year – not a bad location to be stuck in eh?!
Yeah, I’ve got a few close friend who are approaching that age now….life whizzes by far to quickly doesn’t it? I kind of wish I’d done more when I was younger, but then I didn’t have the means to do it back then.
I’m really hoping I’ve mastered the GoPro by then and manage to get some good footage of Mantas for the blog!
YES! Sometimes you simply have to give in and allow yourself to do it, and you already know this will be an awesome trip, and I know you will make it so because you always seem to put lots of effort into having a great time. You’ve picked a holiday that is definitely on my list, maybe I should actually start looking properly…!
lol thanks Zoe, honestly it’s still not really sunk in yet, I’m sure once it gets a bit closer it will, but yes why not, start planning! x